Thursday, April 30, 2026

Emergency Pizza Ordering 911

A fun, spirited, insider’s guidebook--a funny, behind-the-scenes tell-all--about fast-food pizzeria culture.

Top social media influencers like Vito Iacopelli (pizza dough expert) and Dave Portnoy (“One-Bite Pizza Reviews”) have made the popular culinary dominance of pizza reign supreme. And first-time author Tricia Wood can be added to the list as a “Literary Pizza Influencer,” as her book Emergency Pizza Ordering 911 offers a wholly unique take on fast-food-service aspects of this once humble, now ubiquitous Neapolitan delicacy whose fatty, flavorful versatility can trigger brain cravings.

 

With laser-focus and razor-sharp wit, Wood, a self-proclaimed “perfectionist” pizzamaker, shares her 20+ years of experience working in the often “bizarre and unpredictable,” fast-paced trenches of Papa’s Pizza in North Philadelphia: “My work life has become a battle between my desire to please my customers and my need to maintain order and sanity in the kitchen.”  Not an easy task!

 

In lively, easy-to-read prose, Wood shares stories of the chaos and comedy of often-demanding (incessantly eccentric) customers. This includes geometric dilemmas of multi-ingredient-topped pizza pies and how some “spout off their orders like they are reciting Shakespeare and expect us to catch every word.” Wood details “outrageous” culinary requests from intricate substitutions, convoluted plate-sharing, and ordering items like loaded French fries topped with pineapple and pepperoni? And why does silverware often go missing?

 

There are also sections on the “proper” way to place orders and register complaints; the etiquette of tipping; and frustrations with delivery situations—navigating dark, obstacle-course-like, snowed-in driveways; battling overly zealous pets; and price-hikers like GrubHub and DoorDash (“These guys are like the annoying cousins who show up at every family gathering and somehow manage to eat all the food without bringing anything to the table”) as they rake in a 30% profit from restaurants.

Wood--a hard-working, dedicated, unsung hero--demonstrates the joys, challenges, and absurdities of fast-food service culture that caters to customers, some of whom have “zero appreciation for the unique and honorable art of pizza making.” However, Wood’s entertaining, comprehensive insider’s literary guide is truly enlightening—and should be required reading for anyone who avails themselves of (or works within) the food service industry. 

“Emergency Pizza Ordering 911”: Ordering Pizza Without Annoying Us by Tricia Wood

Independently published, $10.99 paperback, 9798330608508 / 9798300952501, 78 pages

Publication Date: November 22, 2024

To order this book on Bookshop.org, link HERE


Learn more about author (and pizza maker) Tricia Wood, link HERE